Chores Don't Have To Cause Arguements

I recently had a discussion with a friend concerning the difficulty she was having getting her children to do chores without a fight. I had to admit that this had been a problem with my own children until about 3 years ago. My children were 12, 9, and 7 at the time and I was frustrated with the arguing I would receive when I told them it was time to do their chores. I always heard things like, "She always gets the easy chores" or "I don't like cleaning the bathroom" or "I can do it later, I'm playing".

I needed to find a way to make the whole situation easier - easier for me and them. So after some thought I developed a plan. I wrote each chore on a separate card, fold them in half and put them in a bowl. Each child picked two cards out of the bowl and that was their chore for that day. They had until supper to get the work done, if not they lost all privileges for the weekend. Chores were done every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. They were not difficult or too time consuming, most chores could be completed in just 30 minutes.

They found it fun to pick new chores every time and they were more in control of when they would do them, so they argued less about losing play time. Not to mention, that this system should them that they had responsibilities and if they chose to ignore their responsibilities, there would be consequences.

I also have a list on the bulletin board of "Extra" chores. These are chores that would take a little more work and do not need to be done on a weekly basis. If they choose to do any of these chores they do get aid. The amount is written next to the chore on the board. They usually pick from these chores when they have something special they would like to do, perhaps going to a movie with a friend. My children do not get a weekly allowance since helping out at home is part of being a family. Not to mention that our children have 6 horses, 4 goats, 2 rabbits, 2 dogs and several cats which cost a great deal to care for - so we all feel that their allowance goes toward that.

After three years of this system we no longer fold the cards and put them in a bowl. I have an envelope that is pinned into the bulletin board with the cards inside. On Monday, Wednesday and Friday, they just go draw two out when they are ready to do their chores - sometime before dinner. I rarely hear any complaining and the house looks GREAT!